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When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear. 

~ Mark Twain

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A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often. 

~ Oliver Herford

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All generalizations are false, including this one.

~ Mark Twain

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Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. 

~ Jim Carrey

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If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.

~ Lawrence Ferlinghetti

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We all have our own life to pursue, our own kind of dream to be weaving, and we all have the power to make wishes come true, as long as we keep believing.

~Louisa May Alcott

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Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright. 

~ Laurell K. Hamilton

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Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.

~ William Goldman

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All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. 

~ Charles Schulz

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I can resist everything except temptation.

~ Oscar Wilde

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Life is made of ever so many partings welded together. 

~ Charles Dickens

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The more unintelligent a man is, the less mysterious existence seems to him. 

~ Arthur Schopenhauer

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The shortness of life, so often lamented, may be the best thing about it.

~ Arthur Schopenhauer